Still Me, I think

A really strange thing happened to me while sitting in my car at the Starbucks drive up this past Thursday and NO I didn't get caught singing and dancing again.  It was probably nothing, but at the time it felt like something.  I pulled up to the speaker and ordered my Trenta Passion tea with three splenda  and between the time it took me to order and drive around the corner to the pick up window, I some how became confused about where I was, how I got there and what I was doing there.  While I was waiting for my order I remember getting a text from Andrew, his daily "I love you Mom just checking in" text he sends me everyday after school, I remember being distracted by the phone- shiny things tend to do that to me- and not recognizing that it was my phone and having a unsettling feeling. When the Barista came to hand me my tea and asked for the money, I was at a loss as to where I was and why this person was asking me for money and for what?  I had no recollection of driving to Starbucks and ordering, nor did I even recognize Starbucks at all... It was a fleeting moment, but a moment that had my heart in my throat with a dash of panic.  I felt confused and a little lost.

The young women handing me my drink picked up on my surprise and I was able to just joke and say something about "being a space case really needing a drink"  Now that I look back on that comment she might have thought I meant a drink of something stronger then passion tea and could she spike it with a little something special-or maybe she thought I had too much to drink already, oh well..guess I can't go back to that Starbucks now, DAMN IT, that one's so convenient.

It was fleeting but vivid, yet thank goodness it only lasted for seconds. I have been forgetful of a lot of things in the past,  just like everyone else who is over 40, but this felt different, nothing like the  forgetfulness I generally possess, like forgetting where I've parked the car at grocery store, the kids early release day (ok, only once or twice but having to wait a little after school builds character, doesn't it?)  or brushing my teeth with hair gel instead of toothpaste., ONCE, I did it ONCE!  This felt more sobering than those lost moments and to be honest, it really SCARED me for minute.

I got my drink, paid the nice lady and tipped her generously in hopes she wouldn't turn around and tell her co-workers about the crazy lady in the white hybrid. I quickly realized a couple things that probably played a huge factor in my lapse.  One, I had just worked out like a mad women in circuit training. Two, I hadn't eaten anything since my run earlier in the morning and it was now almost 3:00. And three, I was trying to do two things at once which on a good day can be a challenge for me.
I'm sure this was all there was too it-  exhaustion, distraction, and the lack of food and I would have been willing to leave it at that left, except the very next day while facebooking I completely mixed up the San Francisco Giant's with the 49's with absolute conviction I was referring to Giants....So now I may be a tad concerned.

Which brings to memory (see I still have one!) one of my favorite reads from last summer was a book called Still Alice by Lisa Genova. It's a extraordinary book about Alzheimer and effects of this horrendous disease on the person inflicted and their families..it's a heartbreakingly real depiction of a extremely accomplished women's descent into the depth's of early Alzheimer.  I cried through most of it- LIE- I cried all the way through this heart wrenching story.  I think it is a MUST read for all of us with aging parents or, oh hell, who am I trying to kid, I AM A AGING PARENT.  It is a sobering and beautifully written account on just how terrifying this disease is for the person suffering from it's horrible effects and just how important it is for the family to know exactly whats happening to their loved one and how to help.

I'm not trying to sound the Alzheimer alarm, common sense tells me my confusion came out of fatigue but it did remind me of this book and how we should all have a plan in place just in case.